Lightly does it!
The modern-day car is an amazing piece of machinery. We are brought up
to accept that we can’t manage without them, and that’s largely true. As with
all things mechanical (and electrical) they do occasionally pack up and can
leave the do-it-yourself enthusiast quite frustrated when the apparent simple
task of changing a globe becomes a three-hour nightmare.
In 2008, is it perhaps a task best left to the staff at your local
garage? You decide.
Before cars came along we had horse-drawn carriages. On the posher
models one would have found gas lamps powered up by Colza oil — or something
similar — for those occasional night-time excursions.
About 90 years ago acetylene lamps were considered “state of the art.”
Powering them up was quite simple: dripping water was directed on to a lump of
calcium carbide and a simple gas occasioned that when lit produced a good,
steady white light. Perfect for the speeds that those early cars could manage,
methinks.
Wars usually have a habit of motivating people’s minds to achieve great
things in their hour of need, with military/commercial lighting kits soon being
made available (once hostilities had finished) for civilians via a four-volt,
50-amp accumulator (battery) direct-lighting system.
Factor in the revolutionary dynamo that was now a regular feature of an
automobile engine for charging the battery, and the motorist could now safely —
but surely — travel at night — if he wished.
Between the Kaiser War and the Hitler debacle a headlight “dipping” system
had been thought up to prevent dazzling on-coming drivers — usually found in
the form of a push-pull vacuum pump or a solenoid that would activate the
“split” reflector inside the “nearside” headlamp shell.
Around the same time the seven-inch headlamp become rather fashionable
(and still is) . . . and then our troubles started!
Car wiring harnesses soon became more complex and complicated and would
often feed an optional pair of spotlights up front, or maybe a large, central
“driving lamp”. To change a broken globe all one had to do was remove the outer
rim, carefully part the rubber seal and the numerous clips and then you could
detach the offending, burnt-out globe.
But the point I’m trying to make here is it could be done by just about
anyone, with the minimum amount of cursing and broken fingernails! Today,
sadly, one needs to think twice before attempting this simple task.
A motoring colleague recently remarked: “You need the grip of a vice,
the patience of a saint and abilities of a gynaecologist” — as he attempted to
change the insignificant flasher globe attached to the wing of his
ultra-modern, imported, French automobile.
He, like me, is totally convinced car plants across the globe (excuse
the pun) either employ people on the production line with very small hands with
a much depleted total of digits, or maybe they are simply double-jointed. (More
likely they are ex-Cirque du Solaire circus performers who are adept at fitting
themselves inside suitcases or small boxes and then closing the lid.)
Seriously, the next time you see a car coming towards you with a faulty
headlight, or following one with it’s tail-light extinguished, have a certain
amount of sympathy for the owner instead. Apart from the exorbitant labour cost
that garages seem capable of charging these days to fix the problem, that
replacement globe cost could well be the bigger part of the final bill.
Amazing, but it’s true!
